My “Side of Serious”….When Someone Thinks I Make Divorce Look Good

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A dear friend recently said to me,

“You make divorce look so good”. Though I know it was meant as a compliment, I couldn’t help but be a little sad about it. Perhaps in my efforts to keep a positive attitude and avoid the pity of others, I have done a disservice to the reality of my divorce, or anyone’s for that matter…?

Now, as I sit in the parking lot of the temple that I was sealed in, 22 years ago today, unable to pull myself together long enough to walk in the doors (Let alone get through my regular Friday session), I am thinking to myself… This doesn’t feel “so good”.

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When the new sports seasons start and I get the kids’ team schedules together, put them in my calendar and realize that unless I’ve mastered the art of teleportation before 6:30 pm of next Monday, it’s not going to work. My “cry face” ensues…. I realize, I don’t look “so good”.

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When I pack up my children, to send them off on vacations to places I’ve dreamed of showing them since they were babies, knowing they will see them for the first time without me and I’m left to imagine the way their faces will light up, trying to be happy for them while dying inside … Well, I don’t dream “so good”.

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When I crawl into bed at night, still feeling strange about being there alone, without my best friend to share the funny events of the day with, and loving that I can provide a soft place for him to land… It’s just strange enough that sometimes, I don’t sleep “so good”.

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It’s not like me to be negative, nor to dwell there. And I certainly don’t share this for pity or self gain. I write this because I want anyone that knows me to know that I do NOT believe that divorce is ok, and it is certainly not “so good”. It scars children, gives Satan a doorway, breaks spirits and destroys souls.

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That said- I still hope, I still pray, I still believe in an eternal family. I still have covenants to keep, a contract to uphold and I will try so hard to do that. I will continue to choose happiness and love over bitterness and spite. That is a conscious decision I make every day. I make it for my kids, my family, my Savior and most effectively… Myself.

Now, enough with the feeling… WHERE’S MY CHOCOLATE CAKE!!??

About the Author– Mindi currently hails from the thriving metropolis of Pleasant View Utah. A self proclaimed silly cynic with a side of serious. She is not a runner, though has been known to be involved in a few relays and possibly one half marathon (worst/best decision ever). She is not an actress, however somehow made her way to a stage starting at the age of 6 where there might have been a lot of singing involved. She is not a sewer, but enjoys putting together fabric-like objects, such as purses, skirts and quilt tops. Most recently she has become a not-writer, who jots down ideas and shares them with others. 

Mindi IS a mother of four beautiful (and I’m not kiddin-gorgeous offspring!) children. One post-teen, two very-teen and one pre-teen. They remain the inspiration behind everything good in her happy little world. Mindi is a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a former (and hopefully future) wife, and friend. She hopes to be known best for those roles in this life. The most important things, which are not things. 

Also, she laughs a lot. A very lot.

Mindi also wrote the popular post Hello, I Am the Friend Zone. Why Do You Hate Me?




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