I am only 1% of Midsingles

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This realization hit me HARD a few weeks ago.   I was enthusiastically discussing Midsingles, as I often do, and someone threw that statistic out there.

I wanted to correct them and say “estimates are that 5-11% of Midsingles are active” but was intrigued and instead asked them to explain.   They asked me how most Midsingles today connect; “well FB of course”, we have so much going on, we have groups, we have events, we have FHE’s, we have so MUCH we are doing to connect and fellowship our own demographic its amazing….

He then asked me what the largest network on FB was……after some time to reflect, thinking about the highly networked Midsingles on the scene and the groups, the MSA wards, the conferences, the event pages and I realized even the largest of Networks is only maybe 5000 strong.   OH!!! OHhhhhhhhhhh!

Wait, that means that 99% of Midsingles either don’t care to connect for some reason, or more likely don’t even have a clue we exist. Majority of Midsingles lack any connection to the existing framework, or have no care for social media, or just got divorced in South Dakota and completely turned off by their one and only online dating attempt.

This idea sat in and took up residence in my mind and hasn’t left. I am OBSESSED with how do we connect the 99% to the 1% !?!?!?!?!? And connect beyond social media, online dating, conferences and vacations, but how do we truly connect Midsingles without looking to church leadership to do it for us.


 

Now I fully recognize that part of the 99% are fully active and engaged Midsingles in their wards and don’t experience the disconnect that was captured very well by LDS Living in their popular article The Midsingle Phenomenon. They seemingly have this Middle-aged LDS singles gig figured out and are happy as clams and that is AWESOME!!! That’s the attitude many people think we SHOULD all have, that many of us WANT to have…..

I still want to connect these happy clams to the rest of us, and ask them to give us secrets of how to master this temporary stage in life.   And if someday they suddenly don’t feel like they have it all together anymore because a new ward, a new calling, a new break up, a new obstacle is added to their plate, I want them THEN to be able to find us, I want US to be their safety net.

I have a hunch though that the majority of the 99% would like to make the connections to the existing and expanding Midsingles world, that they would feel similar to how I did attending my first MSA events in SoCal winter of 2011.

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You see, I was the 99% for 2 years after my divorce and it nearly cost me everything. ME!?!?!?!?! I am the chick who fought heaven and hell to gain my faith after being an atheist/agnostic, so I knew I would NEVER falter. I am also the person of strong testimony and weak will power. Sure, I could run a sprint, I could run a 5k, but the idea of a marathon in singledom and I would feel overwhelmed, incapable, and at times I felt it simply wasn’t possible. And if it was, it was only possible for the “Molly Mormons” not someone imperfect like me who had such different life experiences.

I wasn’t sure if it was actually possible until I attended my very first YSA ward (which had a primary….I’ll explain how in another blog someday). In that ward I connected to my first Midsingles friends, this is back when the Midsingles phenomenon was only maybe .5% or less of the Midsingles in existence.

Finding the Midsingles community literally changed my life. I had found a group of like-minded individuals that helped me through my struggles and gave me examples of people in my same situation thriving in it and I changed my attitude. That’s when I finally got the confidence in myself to take out my endowments as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That was one of the best decisions of my life and reason I forever became a champion for the Midsingles cause.

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I jumped in with both feet doing all I could by hosting Singles conferences, FHE’s, parties, Temple Taco Tuesday nights, even started an MSA institute class and helped start up two Midsingles Magnet wards in Las Vegas. I wanted to share what I found with everyone, my enthusiasm was BIG but my scope small. On top of that was the realization that the Midsingles phenomenon is currently only as strong as the people advocating for it and once they marry and graduate singledom or in my case move away, then the program can fade away.

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Here I am 4 years later and doing even more for the cause than I ever thought I would. I have poured myself into helping every endeavor, project, business and event for Midsingles with the goal of helping them connect, to expand our scope and solidify our roots so what we have doesn’t just “fade away” like one of my dates….lol. 🙂

All my efforts, all the hours volunteered, all the brain power, tears, money and resources I had given to the cause has still only been helping about 1% and I AM NOT OK WITH THAT.

I realized the only way to help the cause was to unite the efforts, unite the 1% and find the 99% or at least the part of the 99% that wants to be found.

Midsingles are are a capable, intelligent, spiritual, networked, and successful group of individuals, so why haven’t we found a better way to connect and develop a sense of community? And why do we seemingly always turn to the church to help us connect? It’s not their mission, but it is ours.


 

I thought through so many options, worked on a few other websites, brainstormed with the minds within the Midsingles realm, prayed lots, and then the answer came to not one but a few of us working on the issue at the same time. A BLOG. Huh? A blog, but….. as we started to discuss more the answers became clearer as to why; a blog is powerful if yielded correctly. News sources today use blogs, the POTUS just had bloggers cover his SOTU, and blogs have been used to form and organize many worthy causes, movements and fundraisers.

Midsingles Today will be the platform in which we can launch current and new initiatives to lift and connect Midsingles.

Ok, so a blog with a cause…..

My daughter of course thinks a blog is the coolest thing ever, I on the other hand have just been warming up to it haha.

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(pic cred)

Before I shush I wanted to explain the intent better and hopefully illustrate how this isn’t about a movement to push for more MSA wards or more church ran programs, this isn’t us pointing a finger saying “YOU SHOULD DO THIS FOR US”, and surely we don’t want to be negative about the efforts already in place because they are AWESOME. We want to be the ultimate singles and help in the harvest, to lift where we stand.

Like Ruth gleaned and gathered after the reapers among the sheaves, we too want to follow up the main efforts of the church and merely gather those that are possibly for whatever reason being left behind. Aren’t WE best suited to lift, support and find each other anyways, as we understand better than anyone else how Midsingles might feel. This is the intent of the “We Are The Rescue” initiative also in the making.

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 Ruth by Sandra Rast)

Like I said there’s numerous individuals helping behind the scenes while simultaneously running full speed ahead with the other prongs of this bigger scope vision for our future as a demographic. This isn’t just about a blog its about so much more, read the About section to catch the vision.



If you want to help, great WE WANT YOUR HELP!! Ways you can get involved:

  1. You can start liking, commenting on, and sharing our articles. Yup, I am shamelessly asking for Facebook Philanthropy, watch Studio C’s video for a good laugh.
  2. LIKE Midsingles Today FB page.  LIKE We Are The Rescue FB Page.
  3. Check out our Contribute section for ideas on content we are looking for.
  4. Contact us with your skills and passion and ideas on how to join the efforts. We are looking for help with website development, blog management, marketing, networking, helping kick off Divorce Support Groups and anything else you think of that we could be doing.
  5. Join the ULTIMATE LDS Singles FB Page and Midsingles of The World FB Page.
  6. Meet us at the Huntington Beach Midsingles Conf May 15-17, 2015.
  7. Calendar: Submit Regional and worldwide events to Events for LDS Singles for submission to Midsingles Today calendar, but to REALLY be sweet send your a google calendar invite for your event to midsinglestoday@gmail.  *Calendar management is proving to be a big project as ultimate singles everywhere are hosting lots of great events.
  8. Volunteer in your Ward or Stake to be a MIDSINGLES Rep and spread the passion within your own area of influence, be an ULTIMATE single and lift where you stand!

 

I have no doubt that as we start to build the roots of this endeavor that the right individuals with the skills, knowledge, and passion to fulfill the vision will come forward and join us in our efforts. JOIN ME!!



About the AuthorSariah Simmons is Founder of MidSingles Today and the We Are the Rescue initiative.  She was a Captain in the United States Army when her divorce forced her to find a new career and join the LDS dating scene for the first time.  She then used her leadership and enthusiasm to be a driven career mom in retail management, but today she focuses her enthusiasm and experiences to lift and connect members of the Midsingles demographic.   She is a graduate of the University of Arizona with a degree in Psychology and Philosophy.  If you are interested in the Midsingles phenomenon she invites you to join in.

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