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#FailingatLife (Or, How to Get Through)

It's hard not to feel at times like you are being crushed like an aluminum can. Like you cannot possibly withstand the pressures coming at you on all sides, the disappointments, the heartbreak, the relentless struggle against time, money, work, ...

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The Gossip Train Stops Here

“I never say anything negative about anyone, but …” “People need to know that …” “You know what I heard about …” “I have a friend who had a bad experience with …” “He’s a predator …” “She’s a fraud … ...

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Why I Wrote a Book About My Failed Relationships

I was twenty-six and though I had dated a lot and experienced more first dates and forgettable kisses than most, I could not seem to get over this one girl. It was no longer massive pain, but it was still there. It was like a sore tooth that you ...

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Casting Off Your Emotional Armor

Over the years, you’ve carefully selected each piece of armor: a breastplate to protect your heart, a helm to protect your thoughts, a visor to protect how you view the world, sabatons to protect where you tread, gauntlets to protect all you ...

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5 General Conference Lessons From an LDS Single

Hearing from our beloved leaders during General Conference serves to anchor us singles in a daily whirlwind of stresses, and inspires us to continually do better and be better. What can we, as LDS singles in particular, gain from the recent talks? I ...

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Fearing the Light

What if it isn’t the darkness we fear? What if it’s the light? The other night as I lay struggling (in small measure) against feelings of vulnerability and fear, I thought about how much I hated the darkness I felt. I then recalled being a ...

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The Root of Loneliness

(Originally posted on Not4Naught) Loneliness was not something I thought I would experience in my early 40's.  The loss of my husband, my children growing up, and half of my family no longer living in my home has left me with days that are ...

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Purpose in Pain

We spend an enormous amount of time in our lives worrying about, anticipating, and avoiding pain. We learn quickly as children that we don’t want whatever it is that hurts. It’s a survival instinct. In my childhood, I came to associate the ...

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Engaged on the First Date: The Best Date Ever

    (Original Pic compliments of elle j photography) A couple of weeks ago I joined a free dating site.  They bill it as the “Mormon Tinder”. I had one match, we friended each other on Facebook and were writing fairly ...

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WHICH PAIN WILL YOU CHOOSE?

(Originally posted on Loveumentrary)  Pain cannot be escaped. We spend so much of our lives seeking out safety and comfort. We try to numb pain, dull discomfort, and run from the uncertainty, stress and anxiety of life. Yet no matter how much ...

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A LIGHT IN DARK PLACES: FAITH AND MENTAL ILLNESS

“May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring When I saw The FellowShip of the Ring movie for the first time, those words struck me like a hammer on an anvil. They ...

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Top 10 Reasons to go on a First Date for Valentine’s Day

Let’s face it whether you’re #InLove, #ItsComplicated or #VerySingle, V-day more oft times than not tends to disappoint the masses. Why??? Expectations. What would have been a fabulous night otherwise.... Pic cred is unavoidably ...

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Love, Want, and Missing Out On Marriage

Love is many things, but in the last year or two of my life, I have come to the realization that “Love” = “Want." To better communicate what I am really trying to say, consider the following … “did not Christ WANT us so badly that He ...

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The Plan of Relation: An Imperfect Plan for Imperfect Singles

    (Originally published on Mingled With Scripture) Being single sucks. Being single in the LDS church sucks even more. Being single in the LDS church and wanting companionship and having to date, well, there is no end to the ...

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What I Learned When I Came Back

There’s a lot being shared in the public forum lately about why individuals are leaving their faith or church organizations. That’s NOT what this particular article is about. Nor is this article about WHY I came back. No, this time I want to ...

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Being Single ≠ Something’s Wrong With Me

In an era where there are more single adults now than any time in history, there’s a surprisingly large amount of misperceptions and stereotypes about single adults that still persist. One of the most common myths about single adults is the ...

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If You Give a Mindi a Mercedes

If you live in a town where the temple is being remodeled, and you still want to attend, you're going to have to drive a distance to get there. On your way home, you might have car trouble, you'll have to leave said car with the mechanic. For ...

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My “Side of Serious”….When Someone Thinks I Make Divorce Look Good

A dear friend recently said to me, "You make divorce look so good". Though I know it was meant as a compliment, I couldn't help but be a little sad about it. Perhaps in my efforts to keep a positive attitude and avoid the pity of others, I have ...

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How to Accept a Compliment Even When Your “Art” is Imperfect

How many of us have heard it before, "You're so strong!" "You're so amazing!" "I'm so impressed with you." "You're such a wonderful parent." I'm sure, for each time we've heard this from someone praising our work as a single parent, as a ...

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Learning to Trust Again…. Perspective of a Midsingle Convert

I had just been asked out by a decent man, and said no. It’s not that I wanted to be alone. I was lonely. I also knew that to truly honor the Savior and God I loved, I would need to marry. So, why couldn’t I take steps toward that path? ...

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Finding Peace After Sexual Abuse With the Atonement and Art

  My journey of healing from sexual abuse in my childhood began long ago when my parents decided that instead of taking revenge they would turn the other cheek. Though my father wanted to kill the neighbor who had taken such liberties with my ...

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Quitting Porn – For Realsies

If you look at porn, you've probably realized by now that beating yourself up about it doesn't really help anything. Sometimes feeling ashamed just makes it worse. One major observation I have made is that a person doesn't "quit" porn simply ...

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The DIVORCE ADVICE I Wish I Would’ve Had…

(originally posted Sep 14, 204 on Geraldrogers.com) No one gets married, hoping that someday they’ll be divorced… and I certainly never thought it would happen to me. We all dream of “Happily ever after” on our wedding day… but ...

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The Greatest Tool of the Adversary

You aren’t good enough. You did stupid things in your past, so you aren’t worthy of good things now. You made moral mistakes, so you are a bruised peach. You have never had a successful relationship, so you never will. No one can ...

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A denied Mission Call: My Dark Side

(story originally appeared on zoevanwinkle.blogspot.com) **disclaimer: this is a story that I am always hesitant to share, even with the people I am closest with. I am embarrassed by how I once acted, and would like to assure you that I am no ...

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I am only 1% of Midsingles

  This realization hit me HARD a few weeks ago.   I was enthusiastically discussing Midsingles, as I often do, and someone threw that statistic out there. I wanted to correct them and say “estimates are that 5-11% of Midsingles are ...

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8 Things you say to divorcees that we could be offended by, but aren’t, because it gives us a chance to use these fantastic responses!

1) I don't really have 8. But I have 7, and 8 is my favorite number. This is my write, so it stays. Read on. 2) Person, "You're STILL single!?" Me, "Yes... I'm also STILL awesome. Don't feel bad, I could have been married three times by ...

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If Your Road to Eternity Seems CLOSED Just Reroute.

(originally posted January, 27 2014 at www.thrownfromthecar.com) Check back soon for a one year later follow up! For the past sixteen years my beautiful wife and I have been on a road trip. I’ll admit, it was spontaneous. Most things we ...

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Hello, My Name is the Friend Zone. Why Do You Hate me?

If a person has been single for much time at all they have undoubtedly come across that special kind of person. Someone that they have great conversations with, the same interests, goals and even some dreams. The one you know would do anything ...

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It’s Possible For Us to “Outgrow” Certain Relationships

It's possible for us to "outgrow" certain relationships. Where we connect with someone at one point in our life from where we were at, but then over time whether weeks, months or years, we grow to a space where that relationship doesn't serve ...

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My Slightly Different but Still Just as Good Forever Family

                  It was November 10th, 2013. My two kids and I were huddled together in a side pew, 2 rows from the front. We were lost sitting there, our hearts ...

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YSA Alumni Unite

  What does it mean to be a Mid-Single that is also LDS? It means wondering if God’s promises will actually come to pass and whether or not we are worthy enough to receive them. It means turning down perfectly good marriage ...

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How Do You Measure Faith?

It was a spring day in the eighth grade when a cardinal came to school, asking us questions in preparation for the sacrament of confirmation. I was living in a very Catholic Croatia but had befriended a few LDS missionaries at this ...

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Choose Your Love, Love your Choice; No Matter The Result

Recently, I was asked to be one of the men “The Bachelorette” gets to choose from this upcoming spring 2015 season. While I was flattered, I didn’t exactly see myself finding love through reality TV and I chose to decline last minute. It ...

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Listening To A Divorced Guy Talk About Marriage?

I received a message recently asking basically, who was I to give relationship advice and why someone should listen to a divorced guy talk about marriage??? Here’s my reply… It’s a good question. One that I get asked a lot and that I ...

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2015 – Moving Forward

Happy 2015! This year holds infinite possibility and opportunity for all of us. To get what we want in this new year, we need to leave the past behind us and move forward with hope and faith in the great things that our Father in Heaven has ...

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Views on Settling

I’m not going to lie, this blog post was inspired by a movie I just watched called Safe Haven. My story relates to this in a not so dramatic way but none the less I think it’s why I feel the way I do about the topic of “settling” or ...

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Footprints

On my walk tonight I saw a set of footprints in a parking lot of snow. They appeared to be at least three times the size of a human foot, though clearly originally made by a person. Much as I loved stories of Bigfoot as I grew up, I know better ...

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Quotes

“Great romantic chemistry is like a great restaurant menu, where you should fall in-love with the food before it even touches your ...

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Feeling Peace

PEACE. It is not truly appreciated unless you have lived through much chaos and struggle. Today, for the first time I can remember since being a child I felt at peace. True, deep, complete peace. The last few days I’ve completely ...

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: My insane normal.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: My insane normal. Those of you that know me believe me to be a courageous woman. I am. I am a survivor. For most of my adult life I felt weak though. I can only tell you a small part of my story on here. I’m very open but ...

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9 Rules for Dating and Commitment

Ever wonder what the “Rules for Dating and Commitment” for an adult man really are? What do women expect and want? These are 9 things that I have experienced in my dating life, and I have seen with others, that should be natural but for some ...

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RISK! It’s a scary proposition.

RISK! It’s a scary proposition. Especially when you’ve risked and been hurt. Whether it’s a failed marriage, a broken engagement, unrequited love, being lied to, cheated on, or simply ignored, we’ve all felt the exquisite sting of ...

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Gossip – are we all guilty of it?

In the past couple of years I have had two personal experiences with it. Though opposite, I’ve learned a lot from both. The first was last year when I found out that someone that I had trusted had made up lies about me and was spreading ...

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Married, Divorced, and New Love all in the Same Year . . . Here’s What I Learned

I got married a year ago today. If someone came up to me on my wedding day and told me one year from that day I’d be cuddled up with another woman I’d tell them to go to hell. 2014 was a heart wrenching roller coaster of emotions of ...

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First Post

This is our first official post to MidSinglesToday.com. We hope to help keep you informed and up to date with everything that is going on in the LDS Mid-Single's ...